• My background is literalist, fundamentalist Christianity
• My path, if plotted on a graph, would waver and swoop
• It required multiple paradigm shifts
• My beliefs could be described in seven stages/positions
  
  
  1. Bible is literally, entirely true.
  2. Same as #1, but God ignores me.
  3. There must be a God, but Bible isn’t true.
  4. There is probably a god.
  5. Uncertain.
  6. No opinion.
  7. No evidence, no god.
  
  
• The stages overlapped
• First recorded doubt was 1990. My faith was the source. The Bible said certain things should happen. They didn’t.
• For years, I assumed during low times that some mysterious sin kept me from God, or that God was testing me. By the same faulty thinking, I assumed my emotional highs were God’s answers to my prayers.
• I was afraid to fully explore my doubts and questions, because “whoever does not believe stands condemned already”. I also feared the idea of a universe without God.
• FIRST PARADIGM SHIFT: Careful inspection of the Bible revealed it was not written by an omniscient, omnipotent being
• Scrutiny of Christianity’s basic premise — that you must believe without evidence or burn in Hell — revealed it was inherently unfair. A just God would not intentionally withhold evidence from me and expect me to believe anyway.
• Examined without assumptions, other religions were equally plausible as my own
• SECOND PARADIGM SHIFT: While writing science fiction, I forced myself to write honest dialog from the point-of-view of non-believers. This led to acknowledgement that a godless universe was possible.
• LAST PARADIGM SHIFT: I realized all the so-called proofs for God’s existence relied on underlying assumptions. When removing the assumptions — examining them rationally — none of the arguments stand up.
• I labeled myself “agnostic” and began writing these pages. It was when researching for this project that I learned more definitions and began using “agnostic atheist”. (See definitions.)

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Edits:

• Edit, 2015.04.25: Changed formatting of numbered list (“Seven Stages”).
• Edit, 2018.09.17: Updated html header and css. Added “breadcrumbs” navigation module. Added link to original version of this page. Edited content for clarity and brevity.
• Edit, 2018.11.18: Tweaked background code. Corrected a couple of coding errors.