I think it was my daughter’s idea; she mentioned several months ago wanting to spend “an entire day with Mommy”. Then my wife thought of it later. Or maybe it was the other way around. Regardless, just before school ended, my wife promised to spend a whole day with our daughter while I spent a day with our son, and then we’d switch.

Disclaimer: When this was first mentioned, I admit I took “an entire day” figuratively. I recalled some days my father spent with each of us, back in the 1980s, and I remember most of them being “an activity”, rather than an entire day. But our children took it literally, to mean “from wake-up time to bedtime”. M gave in entirely, while I compromised to some degree. (I insisted on an hour or so in the morning for my coffee time, and I insisted on sleeping in my own bed, for example.)

Following is my account of those two days, keeping in mind that M was spending each day with the child I wasn’t with.

Benjamin

I got the boy first. This was Friday, June 14. He had a whole plan ready, which I helped him write down (see photo). We also wore (mostly) matching outfits: camouflage-pattern shorts and bright orange shirts.

He and I began by seeing The Secret Life Of Pets 2 at the cinema in Harker Heights; the movie was funny and endearing. Then we went to lunch at Raising Cane’s, a regional chicken finger chain. I let him have Dr. Pepper because he’s always asking for it and I never let him drink it.

After a half-hour or so at Carl Levin Park, he was ready for his frozen yogurt appointment. It was tasty, but as usual Benjamin won’t eat much. I think he still has a bit of a dairy allergy and he’s careful not to have too much. It wasn’t on the schedule but we were running ahead, so we shopped briefly at Barnes & Noble. I found two books for me, and Benjamin chose an Avengers book. Finally we returned home.

We were an hour ahead of schedule by then, so we spent extra time playing with Legos. When it came to the “march around the house” part of his schedule, it turned out he had very specific ideas for this march, and he enlisted M and Rebecca to march with us. By coincidence, it was Flag Day in the U.S., and we had an old U.S. flag on a stick. So Benjamin carried the flag and we marched around the house (outside) while he shouted “One! Two! Three! Four!” over and over. Then we marched to the mailbox and back, doing the same thing. If anyone saw us, I hope they remembered it was flag day. Otherwise, many neighbors may see us differently from now on.

Then we had a secret meeting. I can’t tell you what was said in there; it was a secret.

As per the schedule, we played with teddy bears, which was also fun.

He had put “relax time (with cucumbers)” on the schedule, perhaps having seen something in a movie. But M and R had used the last of the cucumbers before we returned home, so we instead gave Daddy a “makeover”. This involved Benjamin painting my nails (toes), and painting my face with eyeshadow, lipstick, and blush. He did a fairly decent job for a newly-six-year-old.

After supper (for which we rejoined the female half of our family), we went our separate ways again for movie night. M and R got the big TV in the living room; B and I watched an Avengers cartoon (this one) on the 10-inch tablet in his room.

That ended my day, and I got a queen size bed to myself that night, because M had promised to sleep in R’s room.

Rebecca

Rebecca's plan (see photo) was fairly similar to Benjamin's — mainly because he had copied his from her original one. So she and I spent Saturday, June 15, together.

In the morning, while M took the boy out for their day, Rebecca and I uploaded one of her YouTube videos — she got to see the process from start to finish on a PC. She usually uploads them from her tablet. She was awed by how many more options are available via the PC’s browser. “This makes me want to do it this way every time!” she exclaimed. I couldn’t help but laugh, and told her that’s the exact reason I do 99.9% of my video and photo uploading from a PC — there simply aren’t as many options in mobile apps or on mobile versions of websites. (Instagram being a notable exception.) We also played with toys and drew drawings. My drawing was of a truck on a road in front of buildings. Rebecca was amazed that it looked “3D!” (I remembered something of my drafting days and established a vanishing point before starting).

We shopped at Barnes & Noble, buying her a book about Roblox, which she has been devouring ever since. (We won’t let her on the site/app, due to too many creepy adults posing as children, but the concept is interesting to her and she wanted to read about it.) Then lunch at Panda Express where a baby kept us entertained.

For our movie, she chose Aladdin (this one), which we both agreed was better than the original animated version. Afterward, we returned home for my second makeover in two days. M suddenly decided that R couldn’t use her makeup, so R and I hopped back in the car and drove to Target where we bought some makeup and brushes she could use. That trip killed nearly an hour, so after my makeover we didn’t have time for the last things on R’s list.

After a joint supper, we all watched Captain Marvel together for movie night — I had bought it at Target while getting R’s makeup. And thus ended my second full day.

Again, I got my bedroom to myself, because M had promised to sleep in B’s room.

Conclusion

I think all four of us had a blast doing this. RnB each enjoyed not only the absence of their sibling but the undivided attention of a parent. And they each enjoyed the leeway we gave them to choose their activities and write their own schedules.

However, it was exhausting — because M and I are both accustomed to having some breaks in the day where the children entertain themselves. We are a few years past the days when our babies require constant attention and we like it that way. Also, certain things around the house don’t get done when we’re on a schedule made by children. This, Rebecca understood when it was over; because she noticed M and I having to break from the schedule to do things like run the dishwasher or take out the trash. She noticed the recycling bin was full — because no one was left over to sort it into the larger garage bins. And so on.

We’ll do this again this summer, but I made sure both children understood there will be conditions next time. It won’t be “an entire day”. Parents still have things to do. I suggested that next time each child gets to choose (1) an activity, (2) a meal, and (3) something else. For example, a movie, a restaurant, and a (limited) shopping trip.