Got a letter in the mail
— said “i love your pony tail”
No return address
— found it on my second guess
Big, ugly, snobby place
— lived in by a snobby race
Butler found me, led me in
— Had a big, ugly, snobby grin
“the Queen’ll see you now”
— words hit me with a POW!
(Should i kneel, should i bow?)
— ‘cause i’m in the fast lane now

Led me in, said “This the place”
— then i looked upon her grace
She was ugly — no arguing
— tho’t that was bad — then she sing
My ears fell off, i put ‘em back on
— Now i know for sure i’m done
Turned, and took myself right out
— She sings worse than Mr. Stout
i could hear her down the street
— a mile away, it sounded neat
Echoing to the beat
— bark, a purr, a neigh, a bleat

i took a rocket to the Moon
— after i tried a big pontoon
i picked a booger out my nose
— sprayed it with a water hose
cows and horses in the pen
— in my space ship, what a sin
Kicked ‘em out the air lock, wow
— How now Brown big bloated cow
They all died, left me alone
— later i landed on the Moon
What a cheesy Cosmic place
— fitted for a Cosmic Race