Kris is this guy, last name’s Burkholder
if you look at him, your feet get colder
(and your great-grandmother’s flowers get older)

His hair is weird, but so is mine, so who cares at all
i see a big, fat, obese rat behind that wall
i smell a rat, things are getting kinda fishy
the scum between your toes is gettin’ kinda squishy

Kris, Kris,
how did you miss
What a neat guy, this Kris (People say he’s gay,
i know he’s not that way) (Maybe in May)

After it’s all over, he’s a cool guy
a little weird, but so are you and i.