Campaign 2008

All I want to say, is vote for me
‘Cause I wanna be your next President
And if I have to make a promise
I’ll promise to be the best there’s ever been
But, because I’m still only twenty-seven
There’ll be a little bit of a wait
So don’t go out and vote for me now
I’m not gonna run till two thousand eight
“NO MORE SPEED LIMITS”
“NO MORE STOP SIGNS OR RED LIGHTS”
“No more babies in movie theaters”
“No more ‘per-minute’ cell phone charges”
“No more taxation of alcohol or cigarettes”
“No more abrasive toilet paper in public restrooms”
“No more censorship of movies or music or TV; If you don’t like it; don’t watch it.”
“No more Federally mandated morality”
“No more two-term limits”
“GOVERNMENT SUBSIDIZED HOOKERS!”
“NO MORE ‘TOP SECRETS’ — MY GOVERNMENT IS FOR THE PEOPLE”
“If the CIA has it, you can buy it too”
“If the Army has it, you can buy it too”
“No more ‘dry’ counties or cities...”
“No more thirty minute infomercials”
“LOWER THE VOTING AGE TO 16”
“LOWER THE SMOKING AGE TO 16”
“Lower the drinking age to 16”
“Everyone over 55 takes monthly driving tests ... and they PAY for it”
“No more laws to protect stupid people”
“More guns, drugs, booze and sex for kids”
“More sex for the President”