Circling, We Came
By Wil C. Fry, 2000.08.27, 23:35
Copyright © 2000 by Wil C. Fry. All rights reserved.
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We knew that neverland bouncers were watching
We saw their calculated glances, suspicious
We leaned toward the fences, on our heels rocking
We saw the guard dogs, their glances vicious
And circling, we came
Not wanting to be the same
Intrigued by the name
Tired of the tired game
We knew that life was aging and wearing out
We saw the pathways outlined against the sky
We leaned into strangeland, spinning about
We saw that pain only readied us to die
And circling, we came
Not wanting to be the same
Intrigued by the name
Tired of the same old game
We read the printed signs, the warnings scary
We looked into eastern eyes, quite a stretch
We looked over our shoulders, not so merry
We stepped over predecessors, trying not to retch
And circling, we came
Not wanting to be the same
Intrigued by the name
Tired of our little game
We scanned manuscripts, gleaning instruction
We gaped at the failure, back into the hole
We climbed over fences, witnessing destruction
We looked into the dark side of our souls
And circling, we came
Not wanting to be the same
Intrigued by the name
Tired of life’s old game
And circling, we ceased
Not believing the ease
Incensed that we were the same
The circle, completed, ended the game
“For all our striving and attempts to find a secret,
For all our work throughout the night
We learn that no secret exists,
Life must be accepted,
And that there is no Light”
— Millal Ba
Some manuscripts omit the final stanza, purportedly a quotation from the eluseive and mysterious
Millal Ba. Other manuscripts include the following quotation from Ba: “Life is life, no matter
how hard you try to change it.”
Note, 2019: In case it isn’t clear, this poem is about my journey to find The Truth. I set
it in obscure terms intentionally, not yet willing to admit to myself or anyone else that I simply
found no evidence of God, anywhere. “Bouncers”, “guard dogs”,
“fences”, and “warnings” all refer to the obstacles that prevented me
from fully exploring the topic, including family, indoctrination, and society at large.
“Strangeland, spinning about” refers to my experimentation with mind-altering substances,
but also to fasting (which I had tried extensively during my Christian years). “Eastern
eyes” refers broadly to all the religions that weren’t mine, but specifically to
Buddhism, with which I was fascinated briefly. “Incensed that we were the same” refers
to the frustration I experienced after undergoing so many allegedly “transformative”
experiences and practices and finding myself basically the same person I had been all along.