Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for to them shall belong nothing.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they shall seek professional counseling
Blessed are the meek,
for they will get their teeth kicked in,
and blood runneth down.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall spend many years in heated argument,
trying to determine what “righteousness” means, exactly.
Blessed are the merciful,
for other people will take advantage of them.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
FOR THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN SEE GOD,
but they shall soon be despoiled.
Blessed are the peace-makers,
for they, too, shall die.
Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the
sake of righteousness, for they knew not
when to shut the hell up.