It’s the pill of choice
For the girls and boys
High in protein, low in fat
Build your muscles, put brains under your hat
Pain-killing magic and energy release
Low carbohydrates and no deep-fried grease
The ad went on as the President turned
Away from the TV to his cabinet learned
“We’ve got to stop this”, the President said
Sipping on whiskey and scratching his head
“A War on Drugs is what’s next up for me”,
He added as he padded his drink with herbal tea
“We’ll stop them with money, with trucks and with guns”,
He mumbled as he swallowed a pill for his runs
Voices that night were heartily raised
As o’er the ramparts he watched and gazed
While his children in the basement drew lots
To see who got the X and who would smoke the pot.