I’ve seen too many movies
Or not enough
And I believed a lot of ancient, crazy stuff
It took a while for me
To see the light
But I always wanted to do what I thought was right
I never wanted to take
But simply live
If I had any left over, I always wanted to give
I always hated seeing
People in pain
I could always feel it right here in my brain
When I was cold-hearted
It was an act
I never took suffering for an unchangeable fact
The pain I caused
I didn’t mean it
After years — my conscience — still can't clean it
I still feel those things
I know I did
Even from the times when I was still just a kid
I might have hurt you
And I’m sorry
I wish it wasn’t part of our non-fictional story
I’m thinking of you
At that place
That time when I saw that look on your face
And I carried it with me
All this time
Even when I acted like I was doing just fine
I know I was wrong
And I admit it
But for too many years I was simply unable to get it
That it’s more important
To do what’s right
Than to believe wrongs can be washed by light
This is no excuse
Nor is it a plea
Just understand that I was — and am — still changing into me
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