Early American gibberish
Is treated like a god
What badly needs updating
Somehow seen as unflawed

18th Century thinkers
Speak to us today
When they’re not busy
Beating wives or slaves

Orange-faced tubsters
Joyfully weep and cheer
Blinders made of Bibles
Lot’s wife in their tears

Speeding up backwards
Contrary to my wish
All while worshipping
Early American gibberish